2017/11/7 Tue

  1. 1 chocolate donut
  2. 1 strawberry bagel with cream cheese. scrambled eggs with harsh browns.
  3. medium vanilla latte (hot)
  4. the toilet explodes on me. while i’m cleaning the mess, the head of the mop gets stuck and breaks up with the handle. i keep talking to the toilet. i ask it, what have i done to deserve this? why do you have to explode on me? i’ve never flushed down cotton balls or anything else that’s beyond the responsibility of a toilet. i don’t understand it. my level of trust on flushing toilets has dropped. then C tells me her feet and hands are aching really bad. she may have sprained them. but she doesn’t understand how she could sprain all her limbs at the same time. she says, what if i have als? no, i say, als is not like this. right away i am thinking, is it? is it not? when i’m cleaning the bathroom no one else seems to be in the dorm. as soon as i finish, B walks in and asks what happened. i tell her the toilet exploded. she says oh no and pats me on the shoulder. i run into S in the hallway, a black trash bag in hand. she asks what happened. i tell her the toilet exploded. i wonder what she might have been thinking. i am holding the trash bag with only two fingers, keeping it at an arm’s length. i think she could have seen me as someone who’s just gone through a diy abortion. 26 green grapes. happy to finish them. otherwise i might be slowly poisoned to death. every time after eating i can smell pesticide on my hand (or so i believe).