2018/3/25 Sun

  1. C says she is anxious that something might happen, that the whole political situation in china and/or worldwide will change overnight. what are we going to do then? she says she has been especially worried this year. she doesn’t dare to say too much to her schoolmates. she doesn’t think it is ok right now for her to tell others she has a girlfriend. yesterday she was grading the exams and heard others talking about a girl, saying that she was the party branch secretary and really had her way of talking to people. C says, hearing that, my very first thought was, she will be able to thrive even if something bad happens. then she says we haven’t been talking much these days and only got to see each other for a very short time over winter break. she says she is afraid. it is painstaking. again i find myself in the fear of her finding it too hard, but i dare not ask. 1 cup of instant noodles (spicy lime chicken flavor). fall back asleep after watching the first episode of ways of seeing. wake up and hear S telling Z about the residency she has applied for. the residency, she says, is open exclusively to artists who identify as queers. she says, it will be fun to be by the water and making art. Z says, it sounds like a party.
  2. 1 ham and cheese bread. again hear S and Z. S is going on a date and asks Z, should he pay for the movie tickets? Z says, sometimes i like to pay for myself. they discuss which outfit is better. S says she is on a diet because she realizes one of her clothes is too tight. Z says, but you’re already vegan, how much more diet can you be? just smaller portions, S says. C says she dreams that there are many puppies at her grandfather’s place, as well as a horse that has only two legs. her grandfather keeps them and several other strange animals in the backyard. then she sees her ex-girlfriend accusing her with four ipads. she wakes up and thinks she has a fever, but her body temperature is actually lower than usual.