2018/1/22 Mon

  1. i flew in yesterday and didn’t have dinner. i had trouble falling back asleep after waking up at 4 in the morning. i kept thinking of how my mother called me abnormal again when i was back home and how nothing had changed and i felt that she was taking back the understanding and approval she had once given me. i wasn’t sure if i had the right to ask for her approval back and if it even mattered. then i sleep past breakfast and lunch. G calls me and tells me she had a fight with her boyfriend because he promised her mother he will not have sex with her before they get engaged. she starts off by saying how angry she is and ends up telling me how satisfied she is with her boyfriend in every way and asking me if i agree. 1 blueberry bagel with cream cheese and blueberry jam. i finally got C’s postcard, though she has showed me a picture and i know what’s on it. on the front is an animal that looks like a cartoon hedgehog with antlers, though i believe it is simply a cartoon deer.
  2. asian slaw. 4 tofu cubes. when can people stop using ginger in slaw and calling it asian? chocolate and vanilla ice cream. i wonder if i should ask D what she is writing me. two days ago she asked for my current address. i told her i’d just dreamed about her: we passed each other on the escalator; she was telling her colleague how the camera should be moving. now that i think back on that dream, i realize we were both going upward, but my escalator was faster and i surpassed her. after giving her my address, i asked her if she was writing me a postcard. she said, i’m writing you more than a postcard. but what else does she have to say to me?