- had trouble sleeping - the same feeling of the ridiculousness of sleep. how does anyone ever fall asleep? but it’s not that i’m not sleeping at all, it just requires hours of effort. dream: someone has passed away and my mother thinks we should sell most of our belongings from my childhood. she finds a man to pull away all my stuffed animals. i wake up and tell C i dreamed of my mother selling my stuffed lamb, though i’ve never had such a toy. she says she will buy me one. then i dream of us in our bedroom, she lying on top of me, telling me we already have four lamps with paper lampshades. in my dream i remember the shape of each one clearly. i know we can start to arrange them in our living room. sandwich: dark rye, 1 fried egg, guacamole, spinach. medium watermelon lemonade. again A says he’ll do his laundry later tonight. he looks pained merely thinking of it. i wonder how much he has. last night my mother sent me a picture of my grandparents’ marriage certificate. it was a single piece of paper that looked like an award letter from primary school, something you would glue to your bedroom wall alongside other similar pieces of paper.
- my whole room smells like banana. 1 banana.
- 1 beef burger with mushrooms and sour cream. when C wakes up it’s already too late for class so she doesn’t go. i tear open all the monopoly lottery games i’ve got from vons and find out i am the instant winner of a bottle of tomato sauce. one day C awoke at three in the morning and i had a sudden desire to nibble her fingers.